mind over matter

i am SO  over running. no, seriously. really. after sunday’s soweto 10k, i am absolutely hanging up my running shoes.

i went to the track yesterday for the first time since the spar 10k. in fact i should have gone monday, but my schedule is such that i’m at work at the crack and back after dark. i have so little desire to do this that i decided not to set my alarm for yesterday, but to see if i woke up in time to go to the track before work.

in the morning i opened my eyes and rolled over to look at the clock. 05H58. urgh. did a quick bathroom run, then jumped back in bed. 06H20 and i was lying staring at the curtain.  i finally admitted defeat, got up and into my running gear and headed for the track.

07h00 – the track lay melting under a seeming-midday-sun. by the time i got to 5k’s, i was having to give myself a good talking to in order to keep going.

matter: damn, it’s hot, i’m not enjoying this. knee hurts. i can feel where i got that  blister last time. i know i can get through the race on sunday. i can just stop now.

mind: what?! what are you talking about? if you stop now, you’re a quitter! you’re not a quitter, come on! just finish this lap.

matter: ok, that’s 13 laps, i can stop now.

mind: no, don’t stop now! come on, just one more. and one more. and one more….

it’s all mind over matter. and i mind. i really do. i think i’m going back to dancing, cos i know some people feel like running is absolute zen. it’s where they find their bliss. not me. i start a run knowing that i’m going to have to have to do this for the next 45/50/60 minutes. and i do it even when it feels like more modern day torture.

for me the best part about running is once i’m done. and i don’t think that’a a good enough reason to do it.

though i am going to do it.  the soweto 10k, sunday november 2, 2008, 06h15. yup, that would be this sunday! wish me luck!

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