mind over matter

i am SO  over running. no, seriously. really. after sunday’s soweto 10k, i am absolutely hanging up my running shoes.

i went to the track yesterday for the first time since the spar 10k. in fact i should have gone monday, but my schedule is such that i’m at work at the crack and back after dark. i have so little desire to do this that i decided not to set my alarm for yesterday, but to see if i woke up in time to go to the track before work.

in the morning i opened my eyes and rolled over to look at the clock. 05H58. urgh. did a quick bathroom run, then jumped back in bed. 06H20 and i was lying staring at the curtain.  i finally admitted defeat, got up and into my running gear and headed for the track.

07h00 – the track lay melting under a seeming-midday-sun. by the time i got to 5k’s, i was having to give myself a good talking to in order to keep going.

matter: damn, it’s hot, i’m not enjoying this. knee hurts. i can feel where i got that  blister last time. i know i can get through the race on sunday. i can just stop now.

mind: what?! what are you talking about? if you stop now, you’re a quitter! you’re not a quitter, come on! just finish this lap.

matter: ok, that’s 13 laps, i can stop now.

mind: no, don’t stop now! come on, just one more. and one more. and one more….

it’s all mind over matter. and i mind. i really do. i think i’m going back to dancing, cos i know some people feel like running is absolute zen. it’s where they find their bliss. not me. i start a run knowing that i’m going to have to have to do this for the next 45/50/60 minutes. and i do it even when it feels like more modern day torture.

for me the best part about running is once i’m done. and i don’t think that’a a good enough reason to do it.

though i am going to do it.  the soweto 10k, sunday november 2, 2008, 06h15. yup, that would be this sunday! wish me luck!

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2 thoughts on “mind over matter

  1. I am the same. Running to me is a chore. It bores me. Climbing, gymnastics and capoeira light up my life and my mind. I need to get back to them asap!

    But I guess if running is a chore to you it is even more impressive that you run these 10 km things! You really have achieved mind over matter!

  2. well, capoeira and gymnastics will probably have to wait for my next lifetime, but i’m over this particular form of masochism. come sunday, that is! 🙂

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