year end quiz – wenchy’s meme

can you believe it? 2013! we survived the end of the world (yup! still here!) and more importantly, we survived 2012. it seems there are a lot of us who were only too happy to see the tail end of last year.

there’s a meme doing the rounds which was started by wenchy a few years ago. i came across it on angel’s blog and was inspired to do my own version. i hope 2013 treats you all fabulously.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

    • i got divorced after 19 years and 9 days (and being separated for about 8.5 yrs)
    • I started an e-commerce site for my clothing line, sassdesigns
    • i wrote some new poems – something i haven’t done in ages
    • i pretty much stopped working out and got heavier than i’ve ever been in my life
    • i mc’d 2 events at afrikaans festivals
    • got treated like a rock-star in namibia
    • took a holiday road-trip
    • spent new year in a place called red stone just outside oudtshoorn with 3 other couples and had an awesome time
    • i went to afrika burn for the second time since the year it first started and had a blast
    • i bought a new pair of powerisers and went bouncing about on them
    • we bought a caravan in anticipation of going to afrika burn again.

the caravan - i feel totally middle-aged now!

the caravan – i feel properly middle-aged now!


2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year

i’m not one for new year’s resolutions. why set yourself up for failure? i don’t need more reasons for self-flagellation.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

no, but there are so many  buns in so many ovens right now. 

4. Did anyone close to you die?

no. let’s keep it that way – but i fear because my mom is now 81 and i got a shock seeing how much she has slowed down in the last year.

5. What countries did you visit?

i went to namibia for work, but otherwise my passport stayed in the drawer – i’d like to change that this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

  • to get out of my head, get over myself and  pay more attention to my loved ones.
  • movie roles would be great too.
  • more mc work.
  • new adventures and lots more travel. 

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory?

the week of afrika burn. our combined birthday party which was awesome. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

wow, this one has me stumped. and it shouldn’t. i guess it’s getting the sass designs e-commerce site up and helping to organize slutwalk johannesburg again. 

9. What was your biggest failure?

my biggest failure was getting to be the most unfit, inflexible and fattest i’ve ever been in my life. but that’s changing. i looked in the mirror last month and thought, this is the year i turned into an old woman. 2012 is also the year in which i started thinking about mortality and the fact that in terms of “3 score and 10” life expectancy, i am long past the half-way mark. 

but i have living to do yet.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

i’m happy to say that i made it through winter without one of my usual respiratory infections, though i was plagued by knee injuries and an injury to my achilles which kept me from exercising the way i’d like. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

ooh… right now, that would have to be the russell and hobbes 1000w blender and the stick blender which i love. the blender isn’t quite the vitamix i had before, but so much better than anything else. 

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

my other half – he got to direct the biggest reality show in nigeria, called the gulder ultimate search. it was great for us financially and great for his self-esteem. i always knew he had it in him.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

my own, mostly… and then our lawmakers and supposed leaders.

14. Where did most of your money go?


15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

  • my other half getting the directing job.
  • going to afrika burn. 

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2012?

“the greatest man in the universe” by bobby womack was my most exciting musical discovery this year. 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

  • Happier or sadder?
  • Thinner or fatter?  fatter. by  far.
  • Richer or poorer? richer. For the moment. Sort of.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

more yoga. more exercise. been more loving. blogged more. my blog basically died this last year – hopefully it will receive some much-needed resuscitation in 2013. i wish i’d had more time to read. i sometimes say that i’d like a reading holiday, a period of time in which the only thing i do, is read.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

i wish i’d eaten less badly and drunk less alcohol. and spent less time in my head. 

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Xmas was awesome. we spent it in cape town with wolfgang, my first boyfriend (31, yikes, years ago) and his husband. we spent the day of xmas eve preparing dinner for 23 people and it was beautiful. xmas day i went to my mom’s house for a small lunch and then went to my sister’s house where she had a huge gathering for extended family. 

the table magnificently set for 23

the table magnificently set for 23

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?

i don’t spend much time speaking on the phone at all. it’s not my favorite thing. i use my phone mostly for email, social media, twitter, fb.

22. Did you fall in love in 2012?

yes. several times. 🙂

23. How many one night stands in this last year?

none of your business. 😉

24. What was your favourite TV program?

i loved, loved, loved the newsroom and homeland. and i watched the entire series of  smash  within one weekend. i’d watch it again. 

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

i prefer not to hate anyone, but i’d have to say, every asshole who perpetrated violence against any woman or child makes my list.

26. What was the best book you read?

i’m ashamed to say that with the number of scripts i have to read, i read hardly any books this year – and this is from someone who grew up in the library and used to read a book a day. i listened to the audiobook version of the steve jobs biography – mainly on the treadmill at the gym. i’m reading damien echol’s “life after death” on my ipad and we listened to a great book, “beautiful ruins” by jess walter on our holiday roadtrip. i’m also halfway through listening to “the unlikely pilgrimage of harold fry”

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

bobby womack – the greatest man in the universe

and also “tiny prayers” by aaron embry who i knew when i lived in topanga

28. What did you want and get?

a pair of powerisers, a vintage singer sewing machine and a new blender

29. What did you want and not get?

oh, isn’t it the human condition to constantly crave for more? there’s always a wishlist – i want an iphone 5, i wanted a replacement for my vitamix whose motor burned out, i wanted my clothing line to grow and be more successful than it currently is, the elimination of violence, the end of rape…and so on and so forth, etc, etc

30. What were your favourite films of this year?

hmn… i watched mainly series this past year, but the ides of march and searching for sugarman are on the list – i have a long list of movies that i still want to see though: shame, looper, life of pi, the master, tiny furniture

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

i turned 48 – i don’t remember what we did on the day, but we had a fabulous birthday party a few days later that everyone talked about for ages afterwards.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

actually being paid the alimony which my divorce agreement says i’m due!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?

dress to look good, but mainly to feel good. if the dress doesn’t fit, then the dress is the wrong size.

i’ve always been a quirky dresser – that doesn’t really change.

34. What kept you sane?

being creative. having awesome friends, fabulous dinner parties and the once every few months, champagne club gatherings.

35. Which celebrity/ public figure did you fancy the most?

hmn… i’m not really a schleb follower, but i did think the guy who plays the ass-hole director in smash was hot – in a quirky way.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? 

violence against women and children. i am after all the poster-child for surviving rape and sexual molestation. *ironic voice*

37. Who did you miss?

my friend ineke who died of cancer a few years back. i think about and miss her often and always will. and then all of my really good friends in LA and other parts of the world.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

i didn’t meet them for the first time, but this year i got much closer to two women – my friend lauren and someone i work with, hanli, has become a good friend.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

  • everyone has a story. everyone has troubles they are dealing with. everyone, no matter what is on the surface, is going through something, so if you can, be nice to everyone around you.
  • at the same time, i’ve learned to disengage from other people’s drama and not make it mine.
  • and i’ll say it again: just be nice.
  • oh, and don’t forget to play.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?

sometimes a song will  pop into my head like something rising from the bottom of a murky pond. at first i can’t quite make out what it is and then i’ll realize what the words are and invariably it will be a comment from my sub/un-conscious on something that’s going on in my life.

i don’t know if it sums up the year, but over the past few days, this tune popped into my head and then i remembered the lyrics:

“Joyful Girl” – Ani Difranco

i do it for the joy it brings
because i’m a joyful girl
because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world
i do it because it’s the least i can do
i do it because i learned it from you
i do it just because i want to
because I want toeverything i do is judged
and they mostly get it wrong
but oh well
‘cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged
and the woman who lives there can tell
the truth from the stuff that they say
and she looks me in the eye
and says would you prefer the easy way?
no, well o.k. then
don’t cryand i wonder if everything i do
i do instead
of something i want to do more
the question fills my head
i know that there’s no grand plan here
this is just the way it goes
and when everything else seems unclear
i guess at least i knowi do it for the joy it brings…

hype-y new year…

wow! we’re in the second part of the new year already!

for some reason i have an image of time as an unfortunate gazelle being devoured by a pack of ravenous hyenas. that’s how fast it passes – quicksand beneath one’s feet. bloodspatters, sinew and bone…

hmn, can you tell i’ve been a regular little pollyanna lately? not! even though i want to be. i try to tell myself to stay in the moment because it’s all we have. i try to remind myself to stay positive. to see the upside of every situation,  but i’ve been having to give myself a stern talking to. all the time.

i haven’t written here in over a month. i couldn’t send out “happy new year!” wishes because you know what, it might not be. what with dead birds falling from the sky, bomb-blasts in churches, trigger-happy shooters target-practicing on people…i’m done falling for the hype that surrounds this arbitrary marker.

each new year’s eve we tell ourselves that this year will be awesome, at least better than the last. then august comes and we look back at the shape the year has taken and we sigh… the reality is, this year will be whatever it will be and it will reveal itself as it sees fit. only time will tell if it will be bloodspatters, sinew and bone, or the heart-pounding, adrenaline-rush of the close escape…

ok, maybe i should just shut up and shove the dark rag-doll into the back of the closet.

i sure hope pollyanna shows up to replace her soon.


round 1…

and so it begins.

some people may still be  bikini-clad, contaminating our beaches with their sugary drinks whose miniature umbrellas are solely responsible for the deforestation of the southern hemisphere. for others, 2010 is demanding that the piper be paid. monday has dawned in a familiar haze of blue, alarm clocks  jangled the last nerve, snooze buttons have been worn out, work clothes finally sardined into, desks reluctantly wo(manned).

i’m fortunate that i’ve got somewhat of a reprieve: my work-week only starts tomorrow. though being somewhat of a (reluctantly -confessed) procrastinator, i’ve been spending the morning cleaning up, making beds, doing laundry, doing admin, etc. desperate last-gasp catch-up.

some things i didn’t get to this holiday:

  • i neglected to read the 35 or so scripts which we start shooting this week. oops!
  • i was doing good keeping off the holiday weight till about 2 weeks ago, but then i lost the final rounds to xmas and new year and i hate to admit, it was a pretty convincing TKO!  damn, do i ever dread my dragon-lady trainer and her reaction when i see her tomorrow!
  • i didn’t manage to retain my vitality gym membership – even though i went probably every 2nd day in december (my many trips out of town earlier in the year might have something to do with that! ) i guess you win some. some you lose.
  • i didn’t get anything on my xmas wish list. 😦 might have helped if i’d shown it to anyone. just a thought.
  • i did not get round to culling my closets (if you could see them, you’d understand why this is dire). they’re like that fat guy you see at the mall, gut spilling out between his too-small, yet whale-sized t-shrt and his sausage-stuffed pants, guzzling his second nandos family pack – on his own. yes, it’s that bad. it’s at the point where the bf and i are fighting about cupboard space. so yes, way overdue. i’ll have to be fearless. the red dress i haven’t fitted into in 5 years, amongst other things, will have to go. sigh…

and that there’s just the tip.

what i did get to do:

  • i got to travel – took a road-trip with the bf.
  • i got to experience the amazing generosity and kindness of almost strangers
  • i met and made wonderful new friends.
  • i got to see and spend time with much-loved old friends.
  • i got to see my family.
  • i saw avatar on imax and in 3d (meh for the latter, blown away by the former)
  • i attended some awesome parties.
  • and even though i blinked and it was over, i got to have a bit of a holiday.

and that, there, is just the tip.

so… head-long, head-first, head-start. come on 2010! 12 rounds you say? show me what you got – there goes the bell for round 1 – let’s go!

out with the old…

yes, it’s been a while. i’ve started a few posts, but life being so darn insistent on getting in the way, i’ve not gotten round to posting anything since i got back to town. i saw this meme on wenchy’s blog a while ago and i woke up from a much needed pre-festivities nap, knowing that i needed to get in a last post before the new year rolls in.


while 2009 seems to be disappearing down the black hole which it created, i feel as if i’m tumbling head over heels from this year into the next. so much travel lately, so little time for contemplation. yes, the dates on which xmas and new year fall are really quite arbitrary, when you compare them to other calendars. the chinese new year is still a good few weeks away, the mayan calendar’s day out of time happens only in june; but, these are the dates by which we live and so i find myself like janus, the 2-headed god after whom january is named, looking both back and peering through the mists ahead.

each year starts out with such high hopes. we toss away the old year like a worn-out wife and rush to the new – the mysterious mistress beckoning with so many hopes and the tantalizing promise of  desires to be fulfilled. i don’t think, though, that either description fits. the new year will reveal herself as she sees fit and i refuse to revile the old. 2009 was filled with both bad and good, highs and lows, extremes of happiness and sorrow. as are most years. yes, the recession has kicked many a butt and there are high hopes that 2010 will provide the balm that helps ease the pain.that, however, only time will tell.

so, 2009, i thank you for the lessons you brought. i will try to take what i have learned and move on gratefully. 2010,  i respect your veils. drop them when you’re ready.

may we do more than survive in the new year. may we all thrive.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

it seems 2009 was a year of firsts. i got pregnant and miscarried at the age of 45. i went on an adventure i can’t yet talk about. i started my own clothing line. and i started divorce proceedings. finally

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?

i don’t make new year’s resolutions. i think it’s a sure-fire way of setting oneself up for failure. yes, i know it’s also a way of setting goals, it’s a wish-list in a way, for becoming a better version of ourselves, but i’d rather set intentions than resolutions. so, this coming year i intend to get to the gym more, be fitter, communicate more, perhaps get back to running, write more, build my business, finalize the divorce, etc. but if it doesn’t happen, i’m not going to beat myself up about it. and in anycase, i’ve already started on all those things – got myself a trainer, been to the gym most days this last month, got my dresses into boutiques…

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

not me.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

not in my inner circle. for which i’m grateful. though a number of relationships in my circle did perish, which makes me sad.

5. What countries did you visit?

india. the u.s.. mozambique. and burning man, which yes, is in the united states, but really is a universe all it’s own.

last new year on the beach in india

at burning man with my friend verity

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

i’d like to  be a better partner. i’d appreciate better communication skills. and i’d like some serious marketing and sales for my business.

7. What date, from 2009, will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

i don’t actually recall the date, but the morning i discovered i was pregnant and then the morning i miscarried will be always with me. and 11.11.2009 will always signify my willingness to test my limits.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

starting my own clothing line. starting divorce proceedings.

9. What was your biggest failure?

my scrambled eggs, i guess, as well as spending way too much time in my head and as a result, shutting out the people i love.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

i did. as you can tell from above. also had a small fibroid removal op.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

my new macbook pro.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

i guess the b.f. for putting up with my mood-swings and  with me disappearing into the bermuda triangle which is my head.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

in some ways, i guess my own.

14. Where did most of your money go?

house, dogs, the sass designs clothing line.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

the sass designs clothing line.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

boom boom pow! you’re so 2008…. 😉

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

Happier or sadder? happier

Thinner or fatter? fatter, but most definitely fitter.

Richer or poorer? richer, i guess. i have work and i have a business which can generate income.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?


19. What do you wish you’d done less of?


20. How will you be spending Christmas?

spent xmas with new friends of the b.f. after a whirlwind 3 days in cape town seeing my family and my bff from college, who now lives in holland and only comes to cape town in december each year.

21. How will you be spending New Year?

at a house party with a new friend.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?

yes. again.  🙂

23. How many one-night stands?

i take the fifth! ( i was single for the first month of the year)

24. What was your favorite TV programme ?

californication. and no that has nothing to do with the previous question!!!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

i don’t hate anyone.  in fact the amazing thing of this past year is that it brought forgiveness. and i’m reminded that resentment is the poison we take, expecting the other person to die.

26. What was the best book you read?

i unfortunately don’t get to read much, seeing that i have to read 6 scripts a week, but “the book thief” by michael zusak has to be top of my list this last year.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

what comes to mind: oren lavie – her morning elegance. the video for that is amazing. find it on youtube.

28. What did you want and get?

work. thought i was going to be self-employed, but that lasted all of 2 months and then i was offered a new contract on my show.

29. What did you want and not get?

the ability to keep myself open. a better, fitter body and mind. but watch this space.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?


31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

i turned 45 on my last birthday (in fact have another one coming up momentarily) and i had a small gathering  with friends. indirectly something that happened on my birthday lost me 2 really close friends, but also got the bf and i, who were broken up at the time, back together. but that’s another story altogether.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

money. yes, it’s an obvious answer, but i could have done my house renovations and i wouldn’t have had to take any shit from anyone.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

much more flowing and feminine, especially with the signature item in my clothing line being a long dress.

34. What kept you sane?

technology. the internet. getting more involved with some of the cool crazies who people my online world.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

no-one in particular comes to mind i’m afraid.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

many, but a lot of gay-related issues, seeing that a lot of my chosen family have not chosen the straight path.

37. Who did you miss?

my friend patty who lives on the other side of the world from me.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

cindy, who was a rock for me under trying circumstances.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

each time we get hurt, we have a choice. we can feel the pain, live with it  till it goes away. or allow it to scab over and form thick keloid scars to protect against future pain. the only problem with those protective scars is that it doesn’t only stop you from feeling pain. it can stop you from feeling. period. so i’m going to keep reminding myself of that. and keep feeling.

and another thing. good intentions count for nought. walk your talk and live now for tomorrow has no guarantee.

40. Quote that sums up your year.

yes, we can!