running out…

oh my poor neglected blog! i can hardly remember when last i came here for a visit, let alone to post anything!

mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. guilty as my fast-discharging batteries…

may i say in mitigation that my life has been a rocket ship on full blast, careening through a space filled with much debris – and no,  i’m not running around painting the town red,  i’ve just  been busy, busy, busy. you know, doing grown up stuff. getting my house in order – metaphorically speaking of course, seeing that i’m basically camped out in someone else’s while i drag crates back and forth from storage in woodland hills to venice (a 45 minute drive one way. i did it twice today).

i have spent most of the past 6 weeks going through my past life and much as i imagined that parts of it could be for sale  – “and here, our next item, one slightly soiled life, being sold off in bits…”, i just haven’t had the energy to put stuff up on ebay or craigslist. i’ve ended up giving a lot of it away and taking what my friends haven’t wanted, as a donation to charity stores. and there’s plenty more where that came from.

so tomorrow, the about-to-be ex-husband and i are heading to the santa monica court-house to file for divorce. it’s been really weird. we’ve spent a fair amount of time together while i’ve been here, eaten lots of sushi, gone to see a few movies and eaten at some of our favorite restaurants we used to go to. we’ve taken a couple of trips to the storage unit together. and that’s kinda weird, our confused, yet strangely lucid present colliding with our past life jumping out of drawers and crates like a jack-in-the-pandora’s box…. everybody mouthing, “i’m so sorry”s…

last week, after i spent most of my time here, pulling stuff out of storage, he decided that he wanted to keep the unit, so today  we carted most of the boxes back, juggled them around and stacked them back up, dismembered skeleton pieces clacking as we shoved them back in the closet…

i’ve found myself surprisingly emotional the last few days. yesterday i had to take a moment when an old friend arrived with her newborn. i’ve mostly ignored the fact that i had a miscarriage less than 3 months ago, so i’m taken aback when i have an emotional response to babies around me. and today, after locking the storage unit back up, after another early sushi dinner, we went and saw “julie and julia” – good movie, with meryl streep, the actor’s actor. watching the trailers was unexpectedly emotional though and i found myself wiping away tears during more than one… so many movies about relationships, about  people getting divorced and getting back together…. one was a trailer for a comedy with meryl streep and alec baldwin, about a couple who divorce, the guy gets married and then has an affair with his ex-wife.

not about to happen here, but still…

so, the short of it is that i’m exhausted. i’ve hardly seen any of my friends. i’ve watched maybe 1/2 hour of tv while i’ve been here, so so much for catching up with what’s new.  and i’m running out of time. i’ve yet to collect some of my stuff i left with people and the 3 minute egg-timer is at 02:55.

i so need a holiday. seriously.




wow! does everyone else come back from their vacation exhausted? cos i’ve  just returned from a rare 12 days off work and i feel like i’ve been run over by a truck. one of those trucks they feature on “really big things”.  sheesh! i need the proverbial holiday from my vacation!

ok, so i did spend most of those 12 days traveling. first, the 7 hour trek to pop my “splashy fen” cherry, the annual music festival in the underberg, where loads of fun was had. the latter including a lot of schlepping up and down hills to get to and from the music tents and camp.

mary poppins imitation in splashy fen meadow. photo:verity maud

4 exhausting days later, came the return trek, this time compounded by an hour in line, waiting to get through one of the toll gates. (surely there’s something wrong with that picture – one should just have a drive-through toll. bill me!)

got home to find the 3 year old piece of K.I.C. shite fridge (and it’s entire contents!) had gone on to appliance heaven/hell/purgatory – WTF?! after ONLY 3 years! and of course the warranty has expired – and i did not get an extended warranty because i was planning on moving back to l.a. (yeah, the well laid plans of mice and men!)

anyway, i digress. was home for 24 hours, then had to be up at 4a.m. (again!) to make my flight to cape town. then followed further rounds of  frantic running around. checked out my friend kj’s boyfriend’s band, Kombat Fudge. a little rough, but really good songs. remember the name –  i’m sure you’ll be hearing about them. went for a drive to the campsbay side of the cape, then trekked to the other end to spend a lovely afternoon with my fabulous friend shirley, lying in a hammock overlooking simon’s town harbor.

saturday i took part in a charity event – the pioneer rally which i blogged about before. 3 + hours meandering through the boland – eventually feeling like my bladder was going to burst. my blind navigator ivan koch has some previous rally experience  so i left myself to his very capable fingers and the braille map and just tried to enjoy driving the mercedes benz C180k which has some nice touches like automatic windshield wipers. to my surprise, we actually came in 9th of 39! very chuffed. then followed a very lengthy prize-giving gala – after which i got to bed late, but not nearly as late as some of the other party animals. was up early to take a detour to the airport via stellenbosch and franschhoek and finally made it home to JHB  after 10p.m.

next morning, back to work. i must admit i shuffled into the building like methuselah’s mom.

now do you see why i’m flattened? at least  i only FEEL like i’ve been flattened. i could very easily have become one of ZA’s easter road death toll statistics and have been physically flattened by one of those big piles of metal hurtling along out there.

and for that, i sure am grateful! now i just need a good shot of  helium!

thursday’s run

today has just been way too long. it’s not 8pm yet here in johannesburg and i am whipped, barely staying upright infront of my computer.

had to be up at 5.30a.m. for a very long day in the studio. endless scenes back to back. lots of words to memorize and for some reason i struggled to fall asleep last night. 
got back from the studio at about 6.15 this evening. rushed in, changed and got to the track by 6.30.
i was hoping that the track would be lit up, but everything was actually pretty scarily bathed in long dark shadows so that one couldn’t see anything from one side of the track to the other. if lasz hadn’t come along and hung out in the middle of the field with the puppy, i don’t know if i would have stayed. i could see the outlines of guys hanging out in the darkness on the grassy knolls on the side of the track. probably just students, but if there weren’t someone watching my back i wouldn’t felt comfortable enough to stay or to wear my ipod for my run. 
there was also the time constraint of the track closing at 7. i went for a fast warm up walk around the track and then probably started out my run too fast. running in the cool darkness should have felt good, but i was a little too apprehensive to enjoy it and my chest hurt. today’s 3 laps should have been easy after yesterday’s 8, but felt as hard. i only walked 1 and 1/2 laps and then ran only 2&1/2 because i needed to get the car out of the lot before 7.
i’m glad i made the time to fit my run into an impossible schedule, but i think i might have to go to the gym the next time i have to run after dark. 
that was not a pleasant experience.
got home and couldn’t stop coughing. am hoping i’m not coming down with a cold. am exhausted. another 5.30 a.m. morning tomorrow and another long day at the studio which will probably be made longer by load shedding. 
urgh! the joy’s of living here on the tip of africa!