doing nothing can be something

after last week’s hectic schedule of  7-7, mon-fri, the only thing i wanted to do this past weekend, was nothing!  and to a large extent, that’s exactly what i did.

friday night the bf went out clubbing with a friend, while i was quite content to stay home. he works from home mostly and gets a bit stir-crazy, wanting to get out of the house, while i’m away from home for at least 12 hrs most days at  the moment, so guess where i want to be?

was woken up early by the dogs on a rainy saturday morning and went to get some accupuncture for the sciatica which has been plaguing me for a few weeks now and has severely impacted my running program. fortunately there’s a highly recommended accupuncturist just a few kilometres from my house. the only problem is that he’s merciless. jabs each needle in with no compunction and even less mercy. i found myself crying out a few times as i got jabbed. hoping it works.

back home i made us some breakfast and then on the spur of the moment, we went and hung out with a friend for most of the middle of the day. that visit reminded me of the way we used to hang out at each other’s houses when i was living in yeoville in the late 80’s. there’d be no plans, you wouldn’t go out, there were no cell-phones or internet  and what tv there was, wasn’t great – but we had each other’s couches and kitchens and open doors. we were each other’s entertainment and support, playing card games and shooting the breeze and i spent some of the happiest times of my life around my friends’ kitchen tables. ok, admittedly copious amounts of certain green stuff might have gone up in smoke during those visits, but it was the ease and effortlessness of those relationships which will stay with me always. now we make plans and we know that at the last moment we can always send an sms to cancel. makes me nostalgic for those days.

spent most of the rest of saturday working on my scripts, reading and preparing for the coming week. sunday morning we went out for our first bike ride since the 94.7 race last november, our race numbers still stuck to our helmets. i think i stopped riding both because i injured my knee during the race, but also, i’m no longer keen on driving 40 minutes so that we can ride. this time, instead, we wheeled the bikes out the gate and rode around the neighborhood. we ketp it short and  it felt good to do something physical, but it probably wasn’t the best idea with my sciatica.

sunday night i declined the party we were invited to as i was the only person working on the public holiday. i didn’t want to cut the bf’s night short simply because i had to work next morning which meant i would’ve had to drive home alone  and i didn’t want to drink and drive. and i didn’t want to be the only sober one at the party, so it  seemed like the best idea to stay put and out of trouble and be alert for work first thing in the morning. so instead of partying it up with the rest of my friends, i very responsibly stayed home and most appropriately, watched a few episodes of “house”.

the bf finally rolled into bed around 5am, just shortly before i had to roll myself out and off to work. i’m sorry i missed the party, but i’m kinda glad i chose to do nothing instead.



method to the madness…

those of you who’ve been reading my blog for a while, might have heard me mention the master cleanse.

it’s a 10 day lemon, cayenne pepper and maple syrup cleanse. yes, you drink only that concoction and water for 10 days. no, you do not eat any solid food. i’ve done it about 3 times for the full 10 days and a few more times for just a few days at a time. i thought it was fantastic when i first tried it, but i wouldn’t recommend it anymore because like any fast weight-loss program, unless you change your eating habits permanently, the weight will boomerang.

and i’m living proof.

ironically, when i finished survivor at the end of last year, i immediately employed a trainer because i didn’t want that extreme weight loss to come back triple fold. well, the irony was that i worked out harder than i ever have in my life, and got so much stronger, but i simply kept getting bigger and heavier. yes, a large part of it had to do with muscle, but also with the fact that i didn’t/couldn’t/refused to control my calorie intake.

so, much to my trainer’s annoyance, and mine, it was all in vain.

anyway, the point is that i have over the year slowly gotten so heavy that i got to weigh more than i ever have. the other thing is that i am currently filming a major story line during which my character, if she were me, would most certainly lose a fair amount of weight in a short time (even if only from the amount of crying she does!) and seeing that she’s using my body, i thought i should go method. you know, like when adrian brodie lost all that weight for “the pianist”, or robert de niro gained so much for ” raging bull”. or daniel day lewis insisted on being rolled around in a wheel-chair when he acted in “my left foot”.

so, much as i wouldn’t recommend it, today, monday, i started doing the master cleanse. i had a pre-cleanse day with only fruit, juice and salad yesterday and ironically the director this morning commented that it already looked like i’d lost weight.

anyway, i’ll keep you up to date on how it goes over the next while. i’m hoping that i’ll be able to make some kind of permanent change because i really need to. i feel like if i don’t change things now, i’m destined to be unfit and flabby for the rest of my life after being pretty fit for the first half, and beside the fact that a large part of my quite fabulous wardrobe no longer fits, that is just not an option.

LEMON DRINK for Master Cleanse

You’ll need:

2 TBsp lemon or lime juice (approx. 1/2 lemon)
2 TBsp genuine organic maple syrup, Grade B (the darker the better)
1/10 Tsp cayenne pepper, gradually increase (the more BTUs the better)
10-14 oz pure water

Combine juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper with water. Drink every 1 to 2 hours. Take no other food, but do drink lots of water in between lemonade drinks. *my modification is that i added psyllium husks to mine to add some roughage, but by day 5 i’d had enough*

Use fresh lemons or limes only, never canned or frozen lemon juice. Use organic and vine ripened when possible. Also, Mix your lemonade fresh just before drinking. Don’t mix it up in the morning for the whole day. You can, however, squeeze your lemons in the morning and measure out the 2 Tbls when needed.

Burroughs recommends a minimum of 10 days on this. You can do 40 days safely and more.

YL Clinic says you can use Agave instead of the maple syrup. Tom Woloshyn (who studied with Stanley Burroughs himself) disagrees. Clinic says if you have diabetes or hypoglycemia, use molasses. If you feel weak or have a sugar imbalance you can add a scoop of Power Meal. Or you can try Master Amino Acid Profile (MAP) for protein without any residuals or strain on the body more info here: http:/

NOTE: Be sure to drink plenty of purified water in addition to the lemon juice.


First Day: Start with 4 oz. fresh squeezed orange juice mixed with 4 oz. water. If it goes well, drink several more 8 oz. glasses of fresh orange juice during the day. Sip slowly. Dilute with water if needed.

Second Day: Drink several 8 oz. glasses of orange juice during the day — with extra water, if needed.

In the evening make a vegetable broth (no canned soup). Use seasonal leafy and root vegetables such as: beets and beet tops, turnips and turnip greens, kale, carrots, onions, parsley, celery, potatoes, okra, one or two kinds of legumes, squash, beans, a little salt, cayenne pepper and dehydrated vegetables or veg. powder may be added for flavor (no MSG or hydrolyzed protein).

Cook lightly. Drink the broth, eating only a few bites of the vegetables.

Third Day: Orange juice in the morning. At noon have some more soup with some of the vegetables. No meat, fish, eggs, bread, pastries, tea, milk, or coffee. For Dinner, have the vegetables in the soup.

Fourth Day: Orange juice or lemon and maple syrup in the morning. Fruits, vegetables, seeds, nuts for lunch. Salad or fruit for dinner.

Fifth Day: Eat normally but no junk food, dairy, tea, coffee, white flour or white rice, heavy animal proteins. If, after eating is resumed, distress or gas occurs, go back to the lemonade diet for a few days until the system is ready for food.


Start each morning with 1 quart of water and 2 tsp. sea salt (NOT iodized salt). Mix well and chug down.

f$kken prawns!

ok, so this is very unusual for me, but today, just in time for a hot johannesburg weekend (ok, sorry for you if the sun’s decided to boycott where you live), in homage to my friend and author rachel resnick’s new blog, the art of boiling water, as well as to wikus, favorite souf effrican icon, i am sharing my favorite grilled chili prawn recipe.

i have never been in a great cook. in my previous life in l.a., i ate most of my meals in restaurants, with only the occasional pasta dish or steamed salmon being cooked in my kitchen. joni mitchell has a song with classic lyrics: i’m a  pretty good cook, i’m sitting on my groceries, come up to my kitchen, i’ll show you my best recipes…”  uhm, yeah.

anyway, since moving to johannesburg, i’ve had to start cooking, seeing that paying a restaurant for every meal was no longer an option – though i tend to make the same things over and over: chicken curry, ground chicken chili, beetroot, rocket and feta salad, ostrich goulash, in summer, the occasional braai snoek, etc. somewhere over the past few years, i stumbled upon this particular recipe. wish i could tell you where i found it, but i scrawled it down on a piece of paper  as a list of ingredients with n0 instructions other than to grill at 180 degrees… yet, everytime i make it, i have people licking their fingers as well as the bowl, which was the case at my friend deon’s birthday party a few weeks ago.

so if you’d like people vocalizing vociferously while licking their fingers and maybe even yours, try this. and do let me know if you do!

disclaimer: of course, if you’re allergic to shell-fish, i’d advise you to abstain. as awesome as this recipe is, anaphylactic shock is not so much fun.





5ML RED CHILI PEPPER FLAKES (i used 1TBSP AMINA’S  FISH AND PRAWN MASALA bought at seven seas fisheries on beyers naude)







MARINATE 1KG SHELL-ON, DE-VEINED QUEEN PRAWNS IN ABOVE MIX (for at least 1/2 hr, maybe even an hour. i mixed everything and shoved the tray into the cold oven to marinate)


as my friend rachel says, if i can cook, so can you.


you know those days when it feels like the universe has been created merely to facilitate your every whim, like everything you endeavor magically manifests and all falls into place without the slightest bit of effort on your part?

you do? well, today was NOT one of those days at chez sass. today was multiple-toilet-roll-worthy crap!

the s.o. and i are having a major disagreement about my intended trip to l.a.. i need to go and initiate divorce proceedings and clean out (button up) my storage unit and just generally, regenerate. he thinks that i’m being irresponsible, spending money that i don’t really have. except that i will not be using my south african accounts when i go on this trip (they wouldn’t get me very far!). fact is, whenever i’ve thought about making the final payment on my provisional booking, it’s felt like my entire being breathes a sigh of relief and at the same time expands to place a sloppy wet kiss of gratitude on the big wide bowl of  the infinite sky.

and yet. he makes me question this overwhelming urge i have to get on that plane. yes, i need to get to my gynae (haven’t had a pap smear since my last visit 18 months ago), i need to get my eyes checked by my regular optometrist and figure out why i’ve been getting these migraines, i *need* to strap on my roller-blades and go flying down the bike path in venice. i *need*  a bowl of honey bunches of oats with vanilla rice milk. i *need* sushi from something’s fishy in the valley and thai food from cholada thai on the pch at the bottom of topanga canyon. i *need* to make sure my little rav with the plates that say “SASSS” hasn’t been driven to death by my about-to-be ex-husband, i  *NEED*  to visit my ex-home, topanga and see my beloved patty and amy and barb and rachel and eve, etc. etc. i *need* to put on some crazy outfits and shake my bootie at a burner party. i *need* to go home to the playa and burning man. last i got the chance to go, was right before i started this show, 4 years ago. i’ve already been accepted into a conclave (groups which practice all year to spin fire at bm) which means i’d again be spinning fire infront of the man the night of the burn.

i *need* to do all those things and more, but the reality is also that i’m on the verge of starting a new business. i’m not sure where my next acting work will come from after i leave binnelanders. basically, the future is really uncertain. and yet, i feel this need to go and re-fuel. i am feeling sooo spent after being on this show for the last 4 years, and i haven’t realized it till just recently. i always thought that it was my job that kept me tied, that kept me from returning to the states. now i’m about to be “untethered”, but i’m bound in other ways; the s.o., my house, my dogs, though it feels like i won’t be able to face the very questionable future without an l.a. infusion. and maybe that means i’m spoilt. i don’t know. i find it hard to justify and at the same time there is this unwavering urge to get on that plane. it feels like  i’ll finally be free again.

most of this probably makes no sense if you don’t know anything about burning man or los angeles. i sat down to write a post about “something” and just whizzed off on this particular tangent which  i guess, means that this is what’s on my mind right now.

so thank you for indulging me and wish me luck figuring it all out. i’m still trusting the universe… “come to the egg and fry!” *snort*
check out this song, “homesick” – by one of my favorite bands, kings of convenience

cause I no longer know
where home is…”

p.s. one of the myriad other things that made today crap was discovering my agent had allowed my voice-bank membership to lapse, which explains why i’ve not been getting any voice-over work lately. endless pain-in-the-ass phone-calls and an internet payment later, i’m finally back on.

however, it made me look into putting some of my voice-clips on my resume’ web-site, but then i realized that when i had my computer seen to, the guy hadn’t replaced 2 essential programs i need to update my sites and now i’d have to pay for both of them. and i was stuck home with my car in for a service. i won’t bore you with the details, but i now have some clips up on my (very basic – i’m no web-guru) site.(written thursday night)

flying out the window

ever since i came back to south africa  from the u.s. 3 years ago, i’ve had a return ticket back to l.a.. it’s felt like a life-line, like i had a way out if i ever needed one – and i wasn’t planning on staying in any case. after 12 years of living on the same street in topanga, california, it was home. i’d come back to south africa for 2 weeks for my brother’s wedding and within 4 days had been offered a role they’d been struggling to cast  in a new soap which was just starting. too good to turn down.  i had an 8 month contract, but also a house full of stuff in topanga to return to.

3 years later i’m still blowing bubbles in soap land. no more topanga house, stuff in storage, my car being driven to death by the husband from whom i’ve been long, but amicably separated, and a new mortgage on a house in johannesburg. at least i still have a ticket back to l.a., my adopted home.

when I booked my flight back from my annual trip at the end of last year, i secured myself another return. i was told i couldn’t book the return leg of the journey for beyond 8 months from commencement  of  travel, but it’s happened to me before. no big deal . i put in a date and  decide later what i want to change it to. this time i chose the latter part of august as a possible date, hoping against hope, that i’d be able to use the ticket to go to burning man. a new mortgage and steeply rising interest rates later, going to  burning man from south africa, turns out to be a pipe dream, so last week i try to change my ticket to december, which is when i’ve gone to l.a. the last 2 years. i call vayama which is the site on which i bought the ticket and after being on hold forever, the woman comes back on the line and informs me that this particular ticket allows only a 9 month stay, not the usual 1 year!


it’s in the fine print, she tells me. so for $300 i can change my ticket, but  fly no later than october 1st. i’m working till december 5th. out the window flies something like $1000. so much for my life-line. i have to admit i feel slightly unmoored. now i will have to buy a return ticket from  south africa, not the u.s. which is much more expensive. so here i am, adrift in the uncertain seas of my south african life.  i don’t know when i’ll make it back to l.a., back to the life i’ve put on hold, back to the people i love, my burner community, back to a life without electric fences. don’t get me wrong, i was born here and yes, this too can be a land of opportunity, especially in my chosen career, but the reality is, when i put my request out to the universe, i really wasn’t specific enough. i wanted to get back to making my living doing what i do best – and that, without a doubt, is acting. what i didn’t specify, was that i wanted it to be in english, and preferably, in l.a.. so, i’m re-phrasing my request. ideally i want to be able to travel for work. i want to have a base in los angeles, as well as south africa. i want to travel between the two continents for work. i want to be in an american/international drama series, do american/international film – i’ve done it before. i can do it again. 

Burton Morris - Ruby Slippers

image by burton morris

in the meantime i steer my little raft and weather the gales as best i can. this dorothy knows she’s not in kansas anymore, but maybe sometime i’ll get back my ruby slippers and i’ll click my heels…