mind over matter

i am SO  over running. no, seriously. really. after sunday’s soweto 10k, i am absolutely hanging up my running shoes.

i went to the track yesterday for the first time since the spar 10k. in fact i should have gone monday, but my schedule is such that i’m at work at the crack and back after dark. i have so little desire to do this that i decided not to set my alarm for yesterday, but to see if i woke up in time to go to the track before work.

in the morning i opened my eyes and rolled over to look at the clock. 05H58. urgh. did a quick bathroom run, then jumped back in bed. 06H20 and i was lying staring at the curtain.  i finally admitted defeat, got up and into my running gear and headed for the track.

07h00 – the track lay melting under a seeming-midday-sun. by the time i got to 5k’s, i was having to give myself a good talking to in order to keep going.

matter: damn, it’s hot, i’m not enjoying this. knee hurts. i can feel where i got that  blister last time. i know i can get through the race on sunday. i can just stop now.

mind: what?! what are you talking about? if you stop now, you’re a quitter! you’re not a quitter, come on! just finish this lap.

matter: ok, that’s 13 laps, i can stop now.

mind: no, don’t stop now! come on, just one more. and one more. and one more….

it’s all mind over matter. and i mind. i really do. i think i’m going back to dancing, cos i know some people feel like running is absolute zen. it’s where they find their bliss. not me. i start a run knowing that i’m going to have to have to do this for the next 45/50/60 minutes. and i do it even when it feels like more modern day torture.

for me the best part about running is once i’m done. and i don’t think that’a a good enough reason to do it.

though i am going to do it.  the soweto 10k, sunday november 2, 2008, 06h15. yup, that would be this sunday! wish me luck!

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deja vu – all over again.

yesterday was day one.

again.

https://i2.wp.com/141.104.22.210/Div/Winchester/jhhs/math/escher/ants.jpg

feels like deja vu! i’ve had so many day ones on this holy grail quest journey toward my goal of completing a 10k race this year. i noticed somewhere today that there are 106 days left to 2008. 106 days in which to FINALLY reach my goal.

last night i did a tae-bo work out in my living room. i finally found a workout on the 4 disc series which seemed close to the classes i attended at the billy blanks studios in l.a. then i set my alarm so that i could get up this morning and go to the track before i left for work.  i pressed the snooze button a few times, but i gave myself a good talking to, yanked myself out of bed, into my sneakers, and off to the track.

i can’t say it was easy, but i talked myself through each point of wanting to give up. and there were a few. surprisingly, it wasn’t even my worst time – not great, but not my worst.  aching knees, protesting hips, my buff pulled up almost completely over my face to protect against the sun. 5k’s.

less than 1 month to work myself back up to  be able to do the spar ladies race 10k.

i must admit, i’m getting a little tired of this journey – “are we there yet?”

hanging over

so thanks to face book, i find myself up at 6:15 on saturday morning in order to go and join some women i’ve never met, for a run. the person who’d facilitated the whole thing, i only discover when i get there, has gone out of town!

ok, let me back up here a minute. a few days ago, i notice a journalist who’d interviewed me for a magazine article, has updated her fb profile to say that she’s entering a race. i’ve been searching for running partners for ages with no luck, so i quickly get in touch with her. i promptly sign up for the race and she then hooks me up with the woman who’s organizing the run, which is how i’m out on the road at 7a.m. on a cold johannesburg morning. with said journalist nowhere in sight.

i discovered the local university of johannesburg track on my very first run in march, so this is my first time out on the road since that day. it starts out ok, but one of the ladies ups the pace (they run almost every day) so that we run 5k’s in about 31 minutes, which is about 5 minutes faster than i’ve been managing on the track lately, and i really feel it. we were going to try for 10k’s (yeah right!), but i feel like i’m pushing at the limit of my endurance and it doesn’t feel good. my toes hurt. i should be feeling all amped, getting ready for this race, but i actually feel somewhat discouraged. i’m been looking at my schedule for this coming week and i’ve got quite a lot of scenes, so i’m trying to plan my runs, but i’m not feeling very enthusiastic.

we plan on going out to a club called playground saturday night, in view of jon qwelane’s article last sunday, but my friend shirley cancels at the last minute, so my friend crys and i move the living room furniture and hoop up a storm. it feels sooo good. it’s been too long since i had a regular hoop practice. i used to hoop almost every day, but since i bought this house, i’ve slipped.

crys leaves for another engagement and her ex, simon comes over after breaking up with his rebound french girl. (i really dig simon and crys, so it’s sad that these days there’s a lot of negotiation as to when either or them is coming over. we have to make sure it’s not at the same time, so as not to cause any awkwardness – and invariably they come over on the same day! i think they’re beginning to be friends again, so hopefully we can all hang out together soon). anyway, si persuades us to go to a birthday party with him. i take some hoops as well as my psi-hoop and poi and do some more hooping while managing to get thoroughly plastered over the course of the evening. when we get home, we stay up till about 3, watching “fur” starring nicole kidman and i wake up with what feels like construction workers breaking down walls in my head.

no wonder i’m feeling out of sorts today.

confession…

forgive me father farther, i have SINNED. it’s been 7 days since my last confession run. that infernal devil injury to my hip has kept me from getting closer to you. but i REPENT. i am back in the fold. hallelujah! HALLELUJAH! 

ok, so i don’t mean to offend anyone’s religious sensibilities, but that’s a little bit what it feels like. i’m just back from my first run in a week this morning. a very slow contemplative one in which i kept my stride length in check, monitored my hip and legs for any pain (ok so i might have ignored some of it), and got through 5k’s. and i confess. i liked it! (shhhh, don’t tell anybody!) 🙂

it feels so good to be moving again. especially since the fact that i couldn’t run, compounded by all the social wining and dining events lately, left me heavier than i’ve EVER been in my life (and no, the numbers on my scale are nobody’s embarrassing business, but mine!).

after threatening to do it all year, we finally had a day-long publicity shoot sprung on us yesterday, right when i’m feeling like jabba once again. i reluctantly had to resort to a 2-day master cleanse in order to look a little less like the michelin man. you start your day with a liter of salt water after which you’re glued to the white throne for the next hour and a half while it drains right through you. you then proceed to drink only a concoction of water, maple syrup, lemon juice and cayenne pepper for the rest of the day. rinse and repeat. for 10 whole days! (i’ve done the master cleanser a number of times before, and i  don’t recommend it. you look FANTASTIC after 10 days of near starvation and hell, but it completely screws up ones metabolism and pretty soon you’re piling it all back on).

venusmichelin.jpgthis image so perfectly illustrates how i’ve been feeling! at least the michelin man is losing some of his spare tyres and the venus is morphing. somewhat!

just done it!

well not quite. i did it yesterday – my first 5k, that is. 12&1/2 laps on the track. dj steveboy on my ipod nano, my old saucony’s with the inserts from my shox. no more lower leg pain, but i am concerned that i have a newish pain just between the ball of my right foot and my arch – which is where i injured myself the last time i tried running, years ago – also wearing these saucony’s. actually now that i think about it – i wore the saucony’s on my previous run – yesterday i wore the new nikes.

anyway, the run went mostly well. lasz joined me on laps 5, 9 and 12 for inspiration. on the beginning of lap 12 though, i had what i think is exercise induced asthma. my chest suddenly constricted and i had trouble breathing. i slowed down, didn’t panic and managed to actually speed up for the last 1/2 lap, so all good. 33 min, 37 seconds, which kept me just under 3 min a lap – yes, i’ve been averaging 2m30s or so per lap when doing 2miles, but for my first 5k, i’m happy.

so yeah, just done it!

the usual suspects!