let’s just say that things are not going well. 

after almost a month of (mostly) successful house training, she has shat and pissed in the house probably 5 times since yesterday. maybe it has something to do with the fact that i am more security conscious being alone and am not leaving the door open for her to come in and go out when she wants – and i’m obviously not tuned in enough to her signals. i think she might also be protesting lasz’s absence as he was the one who has been spending the most time with her, as i’ve been working such long hours lately. i’m so frustrated. i’ve taken her out into the garden numerous times and she pees several times, but she seems to wait till we come back inside to do her number 2. and the piles and the puddles are growing in size as fast as she is.

last night she woke me up twice – once around 1, then around 3. both times i took her outside and she peed. we had just come back inside and i’d just locked the security gate and latched the door when i heard a distinct, muted thud. like someone jumping over a fence or a large duffel bag landing from a height, followed the next moment by the wailing of an alarm. startled, i ran to the kitchen to look through the window, but i couldn’t see anything or anyone. i didn’t actually know whether it was my alarm or one of the neighbor’s or where exactly the sound was coming from. very disconcerting. after a few minutes the alarm finally stopped, leaving me feeling very skittish.

there have been reports of numerous break-ins in my neighborhood and i seem to be on constant alert,  a constant prickle of fear beneath my skin. not a state of being i particularly enjoy.  i feel like i’ve been living in denial lately about security and now it’s a trainwreck off which i cannot seem to take my eyes. 

i did manage to get in my run today – went straight to the track from work and did my  2 sets of 4 laps in the fading light. my toes are beginning to chafe and i can’t seem to find moleskin at my local pharmacy. 

right now, it’s almost 2a.m. and another alarm is going off in the next street over. maybe it’s time for bed. at least the load shedding stopped promptly at 10 so there’s power.