the grass smells.

in my last post i mentioned that i had a xmas wish-list which i hadn’t shown to anyone.

what follows, happens to be the post i wrote shortly before xmas, but never posted. and no, i’m not just posting it because i need blog-fodder (well, not only)… there is a point, which i will come to after you read it… i think.

bah humbug!

yes, i feel decidedly grinch-like at this time of year. have i mentioned that i’m  not a huge fan of xmas? it wasn’t always this way. i think there was a time when i too looked forward, excited at the thought of presents wrapped under the  xmas tree, but for some reason, even though i’m hugely blessed with material possessions,  for some reason i never really get xmas presents. really. i usually just give my family money (because that’s what they need most) and seeing that we’re seldom together for xmas, i don’t ever get any. ironic that, since according to the 5 love languages, mine probably is expressed in gift-giving (and receiving!). they might not be perfectly wrapped, but there’ll be something.

so in expectations of nothing really, i’d just like to point out that there are at least 3 things i’d like to find in my stocking this xmas:

  • these gorgeous nine-west wedges
  • this book by michael leunig which i’ve been struggling to track down
  • and then after years of not wearing perfume, i’ve found something i think i might wear. 

and oh, by the way, none of these are cheap. 😉

ok, i’m getting to my point. soon.

in anticipation of lumps of coal in my stocking on xmas morning, i went on a concerted effort to track down the items on my list for myself.  spent endless time online researching where to find them. even tracked down the nine west store in gateway when i was in ballito, but they were all sold out. finally, i found my size at the  stuttafords in rosebank and even though they were even pricier than at the nine west store, i splurged, just in time for new year.

got home, excitedly put them on, and found myself not entirely sure. loved what they looked like from the side, but not so much in love wiht the front-view. after much debate and all that effort, i finally returned them to the store. yes. i did. at that price-tag they needed to be absolutely perfect. and they weren’t.

stuttafords also happened to stock the perfume which i’d first come across in the airport coming back from l.a. a few months ago. i excitedly sprayed it on for the bf to smell and imagine my reaction when he just about recoiled in horror at the odor! LOL!!! i couldn’t believe it! admittedly this time round it smelled sharply citrusy as opposed to the previous time i tried it.  so much for that then! guess i’ll continue making my own essential oil and water spray, which surprise, surprise, contains mainly grapefruit and rose-geranium oils!

(as for the michael leunig book – no luck yet. out of print and available only in australia.)

and as for my point, a little elusive, most likely blunt, but i guess what i’m trying to say is;

  • be careful what you wish for
  • the grass is always greener
  • you always want what you don’t have.
  • you can’t always get what you want

so after all  the effort i went to to get what i thought i wanted, i wound up not wanting it anyway!

there’s a lesson here somewhere. and a point. let me know if you find it. 😉

feeling the flow…

this is the xmas letter i sent out this evening…

Father Christmas in Nainital, Indiahello my friends and family

i’m writing you this from an internet cafe on beach road, arambol, goa, in india where what with no newspapers and no radio or television blaring xmas jingles, no xmas decorations, no tinsel, none of the commercial western trappings that shout give me your money!, one can almost forget that it’s xmas.

i’m halfway through a 3 week stay in india where i have been caught up in the most incredible flow, where whatever i’ve needed has presented itself almost effortlessly and most timeously.

scenario: late night in anjuna on a deserted stretch of beach, 45 minutes away from arambol where we’re staying, the scooter won’t start. 5 seconds later a stranger appears, starts the bike and proceeds to push it through the sand and out onto the road for us. we realize we’re about to run out of gas. along the road another stranger upon inquiry, points us round the corner. round the corner, we get gas at, of all things, an internet cafe. don’t ask. 1/4 of the way home on our said rickety scooter whose lights light up the side of the road and very little infront of us, we stop at an intersection, not sure which way to go. suddenly 2 guys (one sudanese, one french) appear, and upon our asking the way to arambol, they proceed to escort us (and because we’re helmetless, i’m driving REALLY slowly) all the way home. one leading the way, the other behind. when we offer to buy them a drink as thanks, with typical goan hospitality, they instead feed us and offer us our first taste of the local honeybee brandy. one of them a few days later takes me to a place where i get incredible hammocks, and then when i cannot seem to locate a ticket back to mumbai for my connecting flight, takes me to a travel agent he knows and i get an impossible to get train ticket for a fraction of the price i would have had to pay for a flight.

talk about manifesting!

ok, so admittedly my friend crystal and i have been felled for the last two days by what i call “goan gut”, resulting in us having a white xmas dinner – rice and curd, lassee and ginger-lemon tea; the only things our bodies can stomach – and we’re both achy and sore from head to toe with kidneys feeling like we’ve done a few rounds with a prize-fighter, but still, it’s all worth it. we’re staying next door to a place called magic park and it really is magical. despite the flies and the mosquitoes. they have futons and pillows where one can hang out to one’s heart’s content, reading and order incredible vegetarian food like spirulina sunrise smoothies, or you can do a yoga class or mandala dance or play with the jugglers in town for the juggling convention which unfortunately only starts a few days after i leave. or you can go 400 meters down to the beach and drift for ages in the unbelievably warm water, feeling like you’re being cradled and nurtured. or hoola hoop on the beach and play with whoever stops by and buy coconut water from the woman who walks by with a basket on her head and chops it open right infront of you.

today i bumped into koren, who is someone i know from my moontribe days back in l.a. and though she has an incredibly sad story, we could laugh and cry together and find the positive and later i managed to get a massage therapist to change his plans and give my incredibly sore body some bodywork. at his house, i bumped into a woman from san francisco, who also used to go to burning man. the world grows increasingly smaller… shrinking with each amazing connection.

and so even though i was halfway through this email earlier in the evening before i lost everything to a dodgy internet connection, i decided to come back and try again. i wasn’t planning quite such a missive. all i wanted to say, was that you each, in your own way, have a very special piece of my heart and i’m glad to have you in my life, whether it’s 10 000 miles away or in my everyday and i wish you a magical holiday in whatever way you choose to celebrate it – or not.

love and blessings