year end quiz – wenchy’s meme

can you believe it? 2013! we survived the end of the world (yup! still here!) and more importantly, we survived 2012. it seems there are a lot of us who were only too happy to see the tail end of last year.

there’s a meme doing the rounds which was started by wenchy a few years ago. i came across it on angel’s blog and was inspired to do my own version. i hope 2013 treats you all fabulously.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

    • i got divorced after 19 years and 9 days (and being separated for about 8.5 yrs)
    • I started an e-commerce site for my clothing line, sassdesigns
    • i wrote some new poems – something i haven’t done in ages
    • i pretty much stopped working out and got heavier than i’ve ever been in my life
    • i mc’d 2 events at afrikaans festivals
    • got treated like a rock-star in namibia
    • took a holiday road-trip
    • spent new year in a place called red stone just outside oudtshoorn with 3 other couples and had an awesome time
    • i went to afrika burn for the second time since the year it first started and had a blast
    • i bought a new pair of powerisers and went bouncing about on them
    • we bought a caravan in anticipation of going to afrika burn again.

the caravan - i feel totally middle-aged now!

the caravan – i feel properly middle-aged now!


2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year

i’m not one for new year’s resolutions. why set yourself up for failure? i don’t need more reasons for self-flagellation.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

no, but there are so many  buns in so many ovens right now. 

4. Did anyone close to you die?

no. let’s keep it that way – but i fear because my mom is now 81 and i got a shock seeing how much she has slowed down in the last year.

5. What countries did you visit?

i went to namibia for work, but otherwise my passport stayed in the drawer – i’d like to change that this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

  • to get out of my head, get over myself and  pay more attention to my loved ones.
  • movie roles would be great too.
  • more mc work.
  • new adventures and lots more travel. 

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory?

the week of afrika burn. our combined birthday party which was awesome. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

wow, this one has me stumped. and it shouldn’t. i guess it’s getting the sass designs e-commerce site up and helping to organize slutwalk johannesburg again. 

9. What was your biggest failure?

my biggest failure was getting to be the most unfit, inflexible and fattest i’ve ever been in my life. but that’s changing. i looked in the mirror last month and thought, this is the year i turned into an old woman. 2012 is also the year in which i started thinking about mortality and the fact that in terms of “3 score and 10” life expectancy, i am long past the half-way mark. 

but i have living to do yet.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

i’m happy to say that i made it through winter without one of my usual respiratory infections, though i was plagued by knee injuries and an injury to my achilles which kept me from exercising the way i’d like. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

ooh… right now, that would have to be the russell and hobbes 1000w blender and the stick blender which i love. the blender isn’t quite the vitamix i had before, but so much better than anything else. 

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

my other half – he got to direct the biggest reality show in nigeria, called the gulder ultimate search. it was great for us financially and great for his self-esteem. i always knew he had it in him.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

my own, mostly… and then our lawmakers and supposed leaders.

14. Where did most of your money go?


15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

  • my other half getting the directing job.
  • going to afrika burn. 

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2012?

“the greatest man in the universe” by bobby womack was my most exciting musical discovery this year. 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

  • Happier or sadder?
  • Thinner or fatter?  fatter. by  far.
  • Richer or poorer? richer. For the moment. Sort of.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

more yoga. more exercise. been more loving. blogged more. my blog basically died this last year – hopefully it will receive some much-needed resuscitation in 2013. i wish i’d had more time to read. i sometimes say that i’d like a reading holiday, a period of time in which the only thing i do, is read.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

i wish i’d eaten less badly and drunk less alcohol. and spent less time in my head. 

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Xmas was awesome. we spent it in cape town with wolfgang, my first boyfriend (31, yikes, years ago) and his husband. we spent the day of xmas eve preparing dinner for 23 people and it was beautiful. xmas day i went to my mom’s house for a small lunch and then went to my sister’s house where she had a huge gathering for extended family. 

the table magnificently set for 23

the table magnificently set for 23

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?

i don’t spend much time speaking on the phone at all. it’s not my favorite thing. i use my phone mostly for email, social media, twitter, fb.

22. Did you fall in love in 2012?

yes. several times. 🙂

23. How many one night stands in this last year?

none of your business. 😉

24. What was your favourite TV program?

i loved, loved, loved the newsroom and homeland. and i watched the entire series of  smash  within one weekend. i’d watch it again. 

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

i prefer not to hate anyone, but i’d have to say, every asshole who perpetrated violence against any woman or child makes my list.

26. What was the best book you read?

i’m ashamed to say that with the number of scripts i have to read, i read hardly any books this year – and this is from someone who grew up in the library and used to read a book a day. i listened to the audiobook version of the steve jobs biography – mainly on the treadmill at the gym. i’m reading damien echol’s “life after death” on my ipad and we listened to a great book, “beautiful ruins” by jess walter on our holiday roadtrip. i’m also halfway through listening to “the unlikely pilgrimage of harold fry”

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

bobby womack – the greatest man in the universe

and also “tiny prayers” by aaron embry who i knew when i lived in topanga

28. What did you want and get?

a pair of powerisers, a vintage singer sewing machine and a new blender

29. What did you want and not get?

oh, isn’t it the human condition to constantly crave for more? there’s always a wishlist – i want an iphone 5, i wanted a replacement for my vitamix whose motor burned out, i wanted my clothing line to grow and be more successful than it currently is, the elimination of violence, the end of rape…and so on and so forth, etc, etc

30. What were your favourite films of this year?

hmn… i watched mainly series this past year, but the ides of march and searching for sugarman are on the list – i have a long list of movies that i still want to see though: shame, looper, life of pi, the master, tiny furniture

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

i turned 48 – i don’t remember what we did on the day, but we had a fabulous birthday party a few days later that everyone talked about for ages afterwards.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

actually being paid the alimony which my divorce agreement says i’m due!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?

dress to look good, but mainly to feel good. if the dress doesn’t fit, then the dress is the wrong size.

i’ve always been a quirky dresser – that doesn’t really change.

34. What kept you sane?

being creative. having awesome friends, fabulous dinner parties and the once every few months, champagne club gatherings.

35. Which celebrity/ public figure did you fancy the most?

hmn… i’m not really a schleb follower, but i did think the guy who plays the ass-hole director in smash was hot – in a quirky way.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? 

violence against women and children. i am after all the poster-child for surviving rape and sexual molestation. *ironic voice*

37. Who did you miss?

my friend ineke who died of cancer a few years back. i think about and miss her often and always will. and then all of my really good friends in LA and other parts of the world.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

i didn’t meet them for the first time, but this year i got much closer to two women – my friend lauren and someone i work with, hanli, has become a good friend.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

  • everyone has a story. everyone has troubles they are dealing with. everyone, no matter what is on the surface, is going through something, so if you can, be nice to everyone around you.
  • at the same time, i’ve learned to disengage from other people’s drama and not make it mine.
  • and i’ll say it again: just be nice.
  • oh, and don’t forget to play.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?

sometimes a song will  pop into my head like something rising from the bottom of a murky pond. at first i can’t quite make out what it is and then i’ll realize what the words are and invariably it will be a comment from my sub/un-conscious on something that’s going on in my life.

i don’t know if it sums up the year, but over the past few days, this tune popped into my head and then i remembered the lyrics:

“Joyful Girl” – Ani Difranco

i do it for the joy it brings
because i’m a joyful girl
because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world
i do it because it’s the least i can do
i do it because i learned it from you
i do it just because i want to
because I want toeverything i do is judged
and they mostly get it wrong
but oh well
‘cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged
and the woman who lives there can tell
the truth from the stuff that they say
and she looks me in the eye
and says would you prefer the easy way?
no, well o.k. then
don’t cryand i wonder if everything i do
i do instead
of something i want to do more
the question fills my head
i know that there’s no grand plan here
this is just the way it goes
and when everything else seems unclear
i guess at least i knowi do it for the joy it brings…

tag, you’re it.

i was tagged. yes, i was.  exmi, that b with an itch, snuck up and tagged me when i wasn’t looking. so without further ado, here’s more info about me than you really care to know.

Do you get regular massages?

i’m a sucker for a massage. i’ve probably spent a fair pile of money on massage in my life, though there’s  nothing worse than a bad massage. then i lie there dying for it to end and all want is to stomp off the table. i haven’t been getting regular massages over the last few years, but i think i’ll be getting more, now that i’m training really hard again.

Do you have an answering machine?

i have voicemail at home. though word to the wise, i never check it. or at least not often. like once a month. call me on my cell.

What cuss word do you use the most?

shit, i truly don’t know. 😉

Are you underweight or overweight?
probably average, but for what i’d prefer, over.
Can you see your veins?



most hand-made soaps. i love bath-oils and soaps and massage oils, and stuff that smells nice and … i think you catch my drift.


cherries, though i love most fruit, except guavas and durian.

Kind of red meat?

haven’t eaten red meat in over 20 years.


salmon/seared tuna. yum.

Candy bar?

don’t do candy bars, but love toblerone, lindt.

Have You Ever…

Eaten a whole bag of potato chips?

hate to admit it,  too many times.

Eaten lobster?

yup. used to love lobster thermidor from the brass bell in kalk bay, but that was a loooooong time ago. don’t even know if it still exists.

Climbed a mountain?

yup. a few times. or maybe a mountain side. a small one. or maybe it was a hill. uhm, a mole-hill?

Been skydiving?


Been water skiing?


Do You…

Wish you could change something about your life?


Like your nose?

well, my mom used to tell me that i had a nose like a blob of dough in the middle of my face. however i’d like my nose more if it didn’t try to run off my face so frequently.
Like salt and vinegar chips?


Eat salsa?

not often now that i live outside of  the states.

Own a boat?

nope. but i’ve been known to  rock it.

What Is…

A small thing that people let slide but that actually has dire consequences?

allowing 1 drop  to lead to a  deluge.

Your most macho trait?

thinking i can do it all myself. though i often can – i’m a woman with power-tools! 😉
The longest relationship you’ve ever had?

still have it. it’s just metamorphosed.
Your most embarrassing thoughts?

now why would i share those?!

Your most shameful moment?




either, depends on the occasion.

all stationery (and crafty stuff). (gets maniacal glint in eye)

all stationery. (gets maniacal glint in eye)
Jelly/Cream Cheese?

jelly – dairy allergies which i sometimes ignore really kick my snotty ass.

toast. bagels sometimes.

My greatest weakness is…

a tendency to isolate.

I wish I was…

so financially abundant that i could help the many people i know, friends and family, going through a hard time.
Three things I wouldn’t do for a million dollars are

kill someone. kill myself. eat dodgy stuff. i don’t know. maybe i’d eat the dodgy stuff if i was allowed to call huey.
The oddest thing I’ve ever put in my mouth is…

not something i’m going to share with you! 😉

Credit card you had?

can’t remember
Loan you got was for?

Paycheck was for how much?

R150 (a week, for my role in Celebration at the Artscape, then Nico Theatre )
Time you had stitches?

hernia, aged 2
Time you went to the hospital for something?

aged 2, hernia op.

List everything you ate in the last 24 hours?

chicken breast, fish filet, salad,slice of bread and jam,  3 digestive biscuits, half rusk, chicken curry and roti, 2 bananas (wow, that makes  it look like i gorged myself!)
Last thing you used a credit card for?

grocery shopping

What was your job previous to the one you have now?

craft service on a movie with Paris Hilton, where the fumes coming from her trailer gave me an overwhelming contact high and the sight of her u.s. size 11 shoes on a table, made me think we had a drag-queen on set.
Last thing you celebrated?

my birthday, a few days ago and i guess the start of survivor sa last night.
Last time you were at a sports bar? rarely, almost never go to sports bars, but probably last time i was in the states.

ok, so i’m not going to tag anyone specifically, but if you’d like an opportunity to over-share, here’s your chance . TMI, give it to us, i dare you. so, if you’re reading this, tag, you’re it! just link back here so i can read yours.

69 things

i’m needing some distraction again, so this post was shamelessly stolen from, inspired by the lovely wenchy.

1) Are your parents married or divorced?
my parents never bothered to get married – let alone divorce. guess the fact that my dad was already married had something to do with that.

2) Are you a vegetarian?
haven’t eaten red meat in almost 20 years. recently started eating chicken again.

3) Do you believe in Heaven?
on earth.

4) Have you ever come close to dying?
not sure. i *thought* i was going to die when the guy came flying through my bedroom door with a knife, but i didn’t. he took some other things, but not my life. even though it felt like it for about 15 years afterwards. i can finally say he might have stolen it for a while, but i took it back.

5) What jewelry do you wear?
since 2004, a special birthday present from my friend dawn – an amulet round my neck called “radiance” by  k robins.

the other item i wear all the time is the 46664 silver bangle which was another birthday gift from good friends deon maas and his wife, pauli van dyk.

6) Favorite time of day?
depends on what i’m doing. maybe when at the end of a job well done.

7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
yes, but i rarely eat broccoli.

8)Do you wear makeup?
tons, unfortunately, for work.

9) Ever have plastic surgery?
never say never. i’d like to think i wouldn’t, but… here’s a poem i wrote on the subject a few years ago.

hollywood knives

i’m 30-plus

yet i haven’t been snipped

or nipped and tucked

so i think it sucks

that i’m being compared

to others who’ve had

their everything


lifted and sculpted.

it seems that this is

what our culture

requires of me.

yeah, i have looked in

the mirror

and i know what i see.

i think i look

perfectly presentable au natural.

hell, i’ve got good genes,

even my denims fit well.

yet it seems

“by any means necessary”

is now the rule

(i’m telling you malcolm

would stew in his grave

if he knew).

are we all fools?!

these days skin is stretched so thin

that skin-deep takes on

a whole new meaning.

we want to live till methuselah

but still look twelve;

“oh is that a line? i think i’ll skip lunch

and get my dermis dissolved!”

i really hope this insanity isn’t lasting.

if you offered me a flawless future

with forever youth,

truth is i’d never say never,

yet i can’t conceive that i’d accept

and though these avowals may not hold fast,

right now i do like to believe…

i’d take the past.

uhm…methinks the lady doth protest too much! 😉

10) Do you color your hair?

11) What do you wear to bed?
depends on who else is in bed with me. 😉

12) Have you ever done anything illegal?
yes, but i’m not telling.

13) Can you roll your tongue?
can’t everyone?

14) Do You Tweeze your eyebrows?
yeah. i do.

15) What kind of sneakers?
ones that fit.

16) Do you still own vinyl?
wow. not since a squazillion years ago.

17) What is your hair color?
dark auburn.

18) Future child’s name?
zelie – possibly

19) Do you snore?
i don’t think so.

20) If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?

21) Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
depends on how much the s.o. has had for supper.

22) If you won the lottery? …
i’d have very happy family and friends. i’m generous when i’ve got to give.

23) Gold or silver?

24) Hamburger or hot dog?

25) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

26) City, beach or country?
country, city, beach.

27) What was the last thing you touched?

28) Where did you eat last?
coffee and cookies in bed.

29) When’s the last time you cried?
2 days ago when i had a scan to see if i needed a d&c and the doctor told me that i was still pregnant.

30) Do you read blogs?
uhm, like, yeah.

31) Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
absolutely. i don’t think that the sexes own a particular style/code of dress. and those codes are all meant to broken in any case.

32) Ever been involved with the police?
well, my brother’s a metro-cop.

33) What’s your favorite shampoo, conditioner and soap?
sebastian laminates. handmade soaps.

34) Do you talk in your sleep?
i don’t think so…

35) Ocean or pool?

36) What’s your favorite song at the moment?
boom boom pow – black eyed peas (wicked little girls – esthero is a long time fave)

37) What is your favorite color(s)?
black. red. (constants) currently, hot pink. purple. browns.

39 Ever met anyone famous?
having lived in hollywood, yeah. lots. too many to name.

40) Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?
i’m still living it so the jury’s still out on that one. ask me on my deathbed.

41) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?

42) Ricki Lake or Oprah?
neither, but i guess oprah.

43)Basketball or Football?
basketball. maybe.

44) How long do your showers last?
the hair washing makes it interminable.

45) Automatic or do you drive a stick?
both. automatic in l.a.. stick in jhb.

46) Cake or ice cream?

47) Are you self-conscious?

48) Have you ever drank so much you threw up?
uhm. do i have to confess? *hangs head*

49) Have you ever given money to a tramp?
i have.

50) Have you been in love?
a few times.

51) Where do you wish you were?
in a place where i could see the future.

52) Are you wearing socks?

53) Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
unfortunately, yes.

54) Can you tango?
i could learn.

55) Last gift you received?
candles, chocolate, foam bath.

56) Last sport you played?
uhm… running? hoop-dancing?

57) Things you spend a lot of money on?
house. dogs. doctors.

58) Where do you live?
my house.

59) Where were you born?

60) Last wedding attended?
my darling friends carlos and dawn both at burning man and then maui, hawaii. oh, actually no – my good friend simone got married just over a year and a half ago and i wouldn’t have missed that for anything either. UPDATE: OMG!!! faux pas! as paul just reminded me, i was BEST MAN at his wedding (to my first love, wolfgang) not so long ago.  i even wrote an extensive post about it on this very blog! i can but blame it on the bleeding and the cramps. sorry boys! mea culpa, mea culpa!

61) Favorite alcoholic drink?
it changes. champagne. jaegermeister. whisky.

62) What’d you do last weekend?
watched tons of sport on tv and stayed still cos i’d started bleeding 2 weeks after finding out i was pregnant.

63) Most hated food(s)?
meat? cabbage. innards.

64) What’s your least fav chore?
picking up the tons of dog crap from the lawn.

65) Can you sing?
i try.

66) Last person you instant messaged?
jerri manthey.

67) Last place you went on holiday?
franshoek lodge – weekend away. where i conceived.

68) Favorite regular drink?

coffee? sprite zero and passion fruit.

69) Current crush?
the s.o., i guess, though don’t know if that qualifies as a crush.