in sight

may i state for the record, with as much eloquence as i can muster, that migraines suck ass?!

it seems that lately i’ve become prone to monthly cycles of what feels like attempts to poke my eye out from the inside. if you hadn’t guessed it, it’s not pleasant. though maybe it has something to do with my very crap, and very likely, worsening vision.

when i was growing up, the library was my baby-sitter. i would spend hours surrounded by row upon row of words; visas and passports to a wonderful escape from what happened when the lights went out at night. at the time, my library cards were probably my most prized possessions. i would finish at least one book while at the library and then devour the one i took home with me even before the library closed for the day. sometimes i would beg my mom to let me go back and get another one and she’d say,

“no, you’ve had your book for the day!”.

she’d send me to make the bed or do some mundane task and half an hour later she’d call to ask if i was done yet. invariably my reply would be,

“uhm, almost…” as i instead turned the page, eager for another paragraph, unable to release myself from the spell of the words creating other worlds right here under my gaze . to me, books are like a journey i embark on and once i’ve taken that first step, i’m unavailable till that journey ends at the very last word on the very last page.

no wonder i required glasses by the time i was 12. i remember a series called “petrocelli” which was showing here in south africa at the time. imagine my shock the first time i saw it after i got my glasses. the actor playing the lead had suddenly acquired an obvious scar under his eye which he’d never had before! made me wonder what else i’d been missing!

now i’m getting to that age where my arms are no longer long enough and my contact lenses no longer deal too well with my astigmatic take on the world. i’ve (gasp) acquired my very first set of (mumble) “readers” – which i now need when i read. yet i’m slowly watching the world fade again. i usually have my eyes checked on my annual trip back to l.a., but i went to india instead this past year, so that didn’t happen.

now nothing is ever entirely clear. at night lights refract and reflect and i feel a little like i’m in one of those video driving games. things shift. edges transmute. and no, it’s been a while since i indulged in any recreational self-medication, so it’s not that. maybe it has something to do with the fact that shortly after my return to south africa 4 years ago, while driving down the road, i had a chance encounter with a stray shot gun pellet. a statistic once more. said pellet, all these years later, is still lodged mere millimetres from my right eye. it’s left me with permanent damage to one quadrant of my retina and subsequently, impaired vision.

and as i’m writing this, i realize that the migraines i have now, started sometime shortly after.

hmn… i need some time to digest that realization.

riding shotgun

riding shotgun

so ok, that’s it folks! here ends today’s tour through my head.

here’s the last.

word.

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a poke in the eye

at the moment i am having my ass kicked by the mother of all migraines.

migraine

this image about sums it up

i felt it coming on yesterday morning and promptly took 2 excedrin migraine pills which generally help to stave it off. no such luck. by the time i was driving home from work yesterday afternoon, the feeling that someone was trying to poke my left eye out from the inside, moved over to my right – something it’s never done before, and by  5h30 i’d been smacked flat on my back and into a darkened room, incapacitated. when i got up to feed the dogs, every footstep hurt and i thought i was going to be sick. i even tried the chi-machine, but eventually just wound up just sitting and rocking on the floor in the dark.

i tried just lying in the dark, i tried deep breathing, i went and picked some lavender from my garden. all this is supposed to help. it didn’t.

more than 24 hours later, the worst of it seems to have subsided, though i feel somewhat battered, like i’ve already gone 17 rounds. the make-up artist at work gave me some concoction which helped a tiny bit and then i went to the pharmacy for something called a “migraine pack”. she was not particularly eager to dispense said meds and advocated some anti-inflammotories and as my migraines tend to be period related, she recommended that i also try a diuretic.

(seeing that i was already at the pharmacy, i went ahead and got a flu-shot – what with everyone antsy about the latest snoutbreak. hope it doesn’t make me feel worse.)

though, i must say, even as i’m writing this, the various remedies seem to be doing their thing. it feels like the failwhale being lifted off my shoulders by those twitter-birds.

but slowly.

what do you do for a migraine? i’d love to know the cure.

update: when i got to work today, a fellow migraine suffererer gave me a zomig instamelt – a tablet you put under your tongue and allow to melt. i think i felt a difference within the next half hour. maybe this is the answer!