hostages down the rabbit hole

an item in the news caught my attention this morning and would not let go. i first heard it on the radio as i was driving to work, then when i opened my online e-mail at work, there it was as the main headline.trapped

3 rescued US hostages arrive safely in Texas

Marc Gonsalves, Thomas Howes and Keith Stansell were in a plane which went down in the columbian jungle and were kidnapped and held for 5 years by FARC, Ingrid Betancourt was kidnapped while campaigning for president and held hostage for 6 and a half years. i don’t really know the details of the story, other than what’s in the article and the snippets i seem to recollect from the occasional news story over the years.

what strikes me and makes my mind boggle, is the thought of anybody being held captive for SIX YEARS! can you imagine 6 years of your life spent at the whim of others? not seeing your family or loved ones, not having any say? (yes, i know jail is the same, but when you go to jail, you’ve generally broken society’s laws).  the stories of natascha kampusch and elizabeth fritzl also freak me the f@#$ out! 24 years in a dungeon?! i’ve realized over the years that i have a rabid reaction to anyone trying to exert control over my actions, so the thought of this sends me into paroxysms of revulsion, frustration and anger. i tumble headlong down a very dark rabbit hole leading to a warped warren of memory. my mind recoils.

maybe being an incest and rape survivor has something to do with this. maybe one can liken 12 years of molestation by someone you trust, as being held hostage.  i’ve been trapped in rooms against my will too many times in my life and i do not wish the experience upon my worst enemy.

or maybe i do. may my stepfather rot under the earth and wonga ndungane rot in jail.

and i wish those rescued hostages a wonderful and extended reconciliation with their loved ones.