it’s day 4 since my plane touched down in los angeles, home from home and i feel as i’m still trailing bits of me – microscopic particles still lagging behind while i walk around here  feeling not all there!

it’s both strange and totally normal to be back here. my first night i passed out as if drugged.

the only thing to which i can liken the sensation of being one moment awake, the next a zombie, is what it felt like recently to have a general anaesthetic. one moment the doc is still talking, telling you that you’re going to sleep, next moment you wake up cold and shivering and in pain and it’s hours later. except now i just wake at 4a.m. though imagine that happening while you’re driving – which is what happened to me the other night with the pch (pacific coast highway – for the non-angelenos) steeped in a ghostly mist. i finally had to pull over and take a moment.

day before yesterday i decided to take a sleeping pill to try to check the lag and wound up sleeping till noon. unheard of in my reality! this morning was another pre 5 am awakening, but as i tweeted earlier, “still having an oily pay-per-view naked wrestling match with ms jet the lag. she’s on top right now, but i’ma kick her ass!”  she’d better watch out.

re-entry into my l.a. life hasn’t been entirely easy. i landed, then had to drive an hour up to where my  ex lives to get my car which it turns out, is in the most horrendous state. i’m not really one of those people who spends the weekend doing car maintenance, but even i was appalled at the state of the sass-mobile. i had to take it straight to a car wash in order to be able to keep driving it. and there’s bits broken or falling off all over. i can’t stand it.

then there was a saga with getting access to the storage unit where a large part of my l.a. life resides. i got there after it closed the other night (yes, i’m still getting used to the time it takes to travel anywhere in this humongous town) and when i finally did make it in, the keys wouldn’t work. finally resorted to calling a locksmith who came and $65 later, drilled out the lock. once the lock was out though, we discovered that there’s a misalignment on the door which made it impossible to put in the new lock without brute force. the locksmith was gracious enough to wait a few minutes to let me pull some stuff from the unit, and then locked it back up for me. now i have to do the 90 minute round trip again today to go and sort it out with the management of the building! sheesh!

i must admit though, that even though sitting in traffic makes up a large part of my day, i’m drinking in l.a. watching the sun glint off the ocean along the pch, palm trees weaving and waving, driving the topanga s-curves again like i did almost daily for 12 years, slowly beginning to catch up with people. and already shopping up a storm. already stopped in at one of my faves – nordstrom rack which is the outlet store for nordstroms. one pair of animal print flats and a funky ox-blood and black tim burtonesque heels later, let’s just say my credit card has been busy.

i know some people can’t stand american accents, but i smiled to myself, listening to the warm, comforting burr of 2 people talking beside me in the starbucks yesterday. and of course, that’s the other thing about being back in l.a. – starbucks. yes, universally reviled by many, but still a place i miss when gone.

and right now, i’m going to give up on any pretense that i could get any more sleep and take a walk down to the beach. my goodnes. i might even run… imagine that!