“Call me names, but gay is NOT okay…”

ok, i’ll take you up on it – JON QWELANE IS A FUCKING RETARD – and a bigot and a chauvinist and a hate-monger! and you can call ME whatever you like!

i’m not usually one who subscribes to the little boxes that people like to put labels on. right now i’m in a relationship with a man, and yes, admittedly, have been most of my life, but.

i love PEOPLE.

what and who they are, how their idiosyncratic brains work, how they express themselves, what we have in common, etc. i fall for someone based on the chemistry between us, not the equipment between their legs, so yes, and maybe it’s not generally accepted for someone in my industry to say so publicly, but i have been in love with a woman and if i were to fall splat for someone who happens to be the same sex as i am, then so be it!

being homosexual is not some strange aberration – it hasn’t been entirely proven that people are born gay, but the evidence is certainly pointing that way. i quote from a very interesting article by neil swidey, published in the boston times, called “what makes people gay?”

“Swedish researchers reported finding important differences in how the brains of straight men and gay men responded to two compounds suspected of being pheromones – those scent-related chemicals that are key to sexual arousal in animals. The first compound came from women’s urine, the second from male sweat. Brain scans showed that when straight men smelled the female urine compound, their hypothalamus lit up. That didn’t happen with gay men. Instead, their hypothalamus lit up when they smelled the male-sweat compound, which was the same way straight women had responded. This research once again connecting the hypothalamus to sexual orientation comes on the heels of work with sheep. About 8 percent of domestic rams are exclusively interested in sex with other rams. Researchers found that a clump of neurons similar to the one LeVay identified in human brains was also smaller in gay rams than straight ones.”

and from kidshealth:

Most medical professionals, including organizations such as the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the American Psychological Association (APA), believe that sexual orientation involves a complex mixture of biology, psychology, and environmental factors. A person’s genes and inborn hormonal factors may play a role as well. These medical professionals believe that — in most cases — sexual orientation, whatever its causes, is not simply chosen.

i happened to be the best man (see how irrelevant labels are?!) last october, at the wedding of wolfgang, my very first love. it’s 25 years later and he is still and will always be in my life. he introduces me to all his friends as “my childhood sweetheart”, and we jokingly say that i will always be “the wife”, because you see, he married a man. it was one of the most sublime weddings i’ve ever been at and i am so happy for him that he found an amazing person with whom to share his life.

so jon, if you have something to bitch about, why not talk about the vast numbers of rapes and murders that happen in this country every day, or the escalating interest rates and crime? when you equate homosexuality with bestiality and you incite people to perpetrate even more violence against gays, you betray your own ignorance and bigotry. you know, there is a difference between freedom of speech and hate speech. it’s narrow-minded bigots like you who are responsible for xenophobic attacks and the many gay and lesbian murders which still happen in the townships! how many more matthew shepard‘s, salome masooa’s, and zoliswa nkonyana’s will there be as a result of your article? is that what you want?

some of the best memories in my life were created with people you obviously despise. you’re talking about my family, about a lot of my friends, about people i love. yup, i’m saying it loud and i’m saying it proud: I LOVE GAYS! it’s homophobic bigots like you the world can do without.